Just take my word for it.
So I started listing in my head different ways I can behave with the members of my congregation during such a time. Then I started writing them down, since I knew I could never remember them. I came up with eleven different things I would like to be doing/not doing in such a time as this. I want to share these with the leadership of St Stoic, but probably not in list form. Here they are:
What you can expect from your pastor in times of disagreement and conflict:
- Private conversations will remain private. This means that conversations you have with me will not be repeated, nor will I repeat a conversation I have previously had with someone else, unless law or polity require it.
- Because of this, I cannot respond to anonymous comments about me other than to ask you to invite the unnamed person into the conversation with us.
- The relationships that will take priority are the relationship of persons in the room to one another, and the relationship of all persons to God.
- You have a right to be heard. I may ask clarifying questions to make sure I have understood what you have told me.
- I have the same right; I cannot, however, force you to understand me.
- I will not attempt to explain or analyze the actions, attitudes or words of another person. I will encourage you to ask the other person about those things. Further, I will take responsibility for my own actions, attitudes and words, and I encourage you to respectfully question me about those.
- I will work to restore myself in right relationship to you; I will not force you to do the same.
- In all these things, the goal is the peace, unity, and purity of the Church of Jesus Christ. I will do my best to maintain this goal, whether the presenting conflict seems large or small.
- I will do my best to respect any person’s decision to live by a different set of guidelines than the ones I have stated here.
- I will continue to pray for those with whom there is conflict, and for the whole church, remembering that Christ alone is the Lord of the conscience, and with the firm belief that while humans are fallible, God prevails in all things.
- I will learn from my missteps, striving to glorify God in all things.
10 comments:
Even as a list, sister, that'll preach.
I agree with Songbird. the aim os for the world to look upon us and say, "See how they love one another." Great list!
More evidence that being a pastor is the hardest job in the world, IMHO.
God bless you and all those who have been called into ordained ministry.
This is beautiful, utterly beautiful, and I needed to read it today. Thank you.
What a manifesto for ministry. It's wonderful, my friend. I just feel sorry that current circumstances make it a timely one for you.
Love and prayers x
Dang, you are GOOD.
As I read, I thought, "Wow, how mature!" And isn't that one of the hardest things to be in any situation, especially a leadership/ministry one?
As I have only a small idea.
I bow to you.
Very good. I break the 6th commandment regularly partly through a diplomatic desire to put a postive spin on questionable behavior and partly through a totally egotistical urge to wow people with the brilliance of my psychological insights. I may need to scribble these on my palms.
With a blog, it is very difficult not to violate # 1. And although there are so many things I want to blog, I know that complete anonymity just doesn't exist for most of us.
This is an awesome list cheesehead.
Definitely awesome. I'm printing this out - I need it.
(I missread the first line as referrign to "macho kinds of conflict". It sorta made sense.)
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