Blue Eyes and I are each puttering around the house, separately this evening. We know what is happening out there this stormy April evening, some six or so miles from our house. We have already talked it to death, there is no more to say.
Our youngest child is attending the last Prom of the Cheese household.
I went with her today to get her hair done. As soon as the stylist saw she had bright red (think crayola crayon red) chunks in the front she asked her what kind of style she wanted, and gave her an appropriately chunky "undone" rock star updo. Then we went to pick up the flower for her "date", her BFF, Tall Curly Haired Girl. TCHG is temporarily between boyfriends.
WG is currently "attached" to a boy she had known since fifth grade, who happens to live more than 2,000 miles away. He is not really the Prom type, anyway. Although there is a certain comfort in knowing that my 18-year-old daughter's 19-year-old boyfriend is almost a continent away, there are things that I miss out on. He will never come to my house and pile his big old shoes in my mud room and invade my fridge and my family room. Although none of her young suitors so far has been perfect, I have enjoyed getting to know them. They have been--by and large--fun to have around the house.
But from now on, her relationships are going to take place somewere else. I have been lamenting this, and other losses, to Blue Eyes the past few days. So far the best solution he can come up with is a "puppy", which is our term for a small dog. I don't think even a pup can make up for this loss. And I'm afraid, frankly, to add one more creature to my life that I know I will have to say goodbye to. "Just not ready" is the explanation I give to curious questioners, when they, astoundingly, ask why we don't have a new "replacement" dog yet.
Just not ready for the empty nest.
Just not ready to come come to an empty house every day.
Just not ready for the changes that are coming.
Just not ready for the bathroom that will always be clean.
Just not ready for her to live two time zones away.
Just not ready to not hear her voice for days at a time.
Just not ready to not have a kid in the local school, after 17 years.
Just not ready to open myself up again, not even to the delights of a new pet.
She pokes mild fun at me, jokingly tells her friends I cry "My baby!" to her every day. Some day, God willing, she'll get it.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
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15 comments:
(((((CH)))))).
you make me cry. i will not read about graduation.
it will leave me too sad
Aw (((Cheese)))
At a school bash tonight a mom with a HS son said that the 4 years of HS go by in just a flash! I hugged my 10 year old extra after that.
You can ALWAYS borrow Curly, our guinea pig, if you are desperate for some small mammalian love.
((((Cheese)))
From what I have read in this space, she will get it, and probably already does.
Yeah.
(((cheese)))
Been there and done that.
Your post brings me memories of Babs' senior year.
She was a junior in college before I quit coming home at 2:30 half-expecting her to come home from school.
I had such a hard time with this when I was on the other side; I can't imagine how tough it is for the mamas. :(
For some reason my computer screen is blurred and my glasses are fogged.
We have a partially potty-trained puppy you can borrow if you'd like. He'd be perfect, because when you get tired of cleaning up after him you could send him back. I bet Dave would even special deliver him to you.
(((Cheese)))
(((CH)))
Like Quotidian Grace, I've 'been there and done that'. And (especially at first) the empty nest thing sucks! But then you move into a new phase and there are cool things with that too.
On a positive note, instant messaging and text messages are awesome.
(And I'll bet she 'gets it' already...)
I don't think you are ever ready. I did like the cleaner bathroom and kitchen tho, but would trade it to have her nearer. We now have a small twitter group and the kids and I post regularly. It helps alot, but it doesn't take the place of those special times.
I feel for you. Enjoy the days and weeks ahead and know some special times are coming that will be different but equally special.
(((((Cheese))))))
I hear you. I'll have an empty nest for the first time in ---are you ready?--- 34 years. Yikes.
(o)
I found that when my first one left, that was the hardest. She was a home-body. The other two were social butterflies, so they were out and about all the time.
The upside of the empty nest is better sleep and more privacy and lovely dinners for two. The best part for me was waking at 2:00 am and not wondering where any of them were. Now I just wonder during the day time, but not in the middle of the night. ["wondering" = worrying.]
Yes, Cheese. This is what it feels like. It takes a while to get used to the empty nest thing. Then, after a year or two, when they come home, you're glad to see them but have a sense of disruption, becuase you've gotten used to them being gone. Parenthood is sometimes tough. PS is right...wondering it he middle of the night if they're okay - that's hard.
{{{{{{{Cheese}}}}}}}}}
(((cheese)))
*sniff*
I wish I could tell you that it gets easy over time, but after three years, I still wait for Son #1 to come in the door and say "Hey" in that way that sounds exactly like his father. But he lives two provinces away.
The upside is that we raised our boys to be independent and self-assured, just like your WG is, and they have become just that. But some days I wish they were six and four again.
You'll be okay. WG will be okay. It takes time to create a new "normal." I know that's little consolation, but it's all I've got.
LYMI
Why will you not talk to her for days at a time? Cell phones dear cell phones!!
I will send you Bebo to take care of that clean bathroom situtation!
And hey....cannot the boys girlfriend move in so that you will not be lonely?!?!?! lol
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